With your help, Kayla—once without a home of her own—builds her future.

When she was 8, Kayla went to the police and asked them to put her in foster care.

Her mom had made a habit of leaving her alone for days at a time, with no food and no one to look after her. And when she was home, she regularly beat little Kayla.

“It was almost like a hobby for her,” says Kayla. “I was so scared in that house alone, and when she came home, she was super abusive. It was just awful.”

And, her father was in and out of prison. “My dad is the most kindhearted man in the world. He’s got such a good soul. But he has been an alcoholic since he was a kid.”

She thought that putting herself in state custody would give her parents a wake-up call. “They wouldn’t want me to be in a foster home, so what else would they do besides get it together? You know, stop drinking, stop using drugs, stop leaving me. I just thought it would get better.”

Instead, Kayla bounced from home to home to home—at one, the parents treated her so badly that Kayla’s case manager intervened and they lost their license. Once a star student, she fell behind after switching schools again and again.

Finally, when Kayla was in 8th grade, a room opened up in her aunt’s house, and she became a certified foster parent to take Kayla in—the mother that Kayla had never had. “If I didn’t move in with her, I don’t know what I’d be doing right now. It’s a really scary thought.”

Support to build on, thanks to you.

In high school, Kayla’s case manager referred her to Amanda at our Youth Development Program, which helps youth aging out of state custody transition to adulthood. “I remember the initial meeting, when she told me all the things she could help me with.”

“That was the first time anybody had talked to me about college.”

“I thought, ‘This is my opportunity to branch out and even lead myself.’ My whole time in care had proven that I couldn’t rely on my parents to bounce back and give me a solid life or at least a fair chance at being successful.”

Thanks to your support, Kayla began to plan for college. But in her senior year, her boyfriend of three years suddenly died. In her grief, her grades slipped, she struggled to stay in school, and college seemed like a far-off dream.

She wasn’t sure what to do until Amanda suggested our independent living program, which helps foster kids learn to live on their own. We do many of the things a parent might—like coaching, and helping to pay for books, a computer, or rent.

With your support, a home of her own.

Kayla moved out of her aunt’s house and slowly began to build a life—a home—for herself. She got a job, and eventually started taking classes at Community College of Vermont. Thanks to you, Amanda was always by her side, helping her when her laptop failed in the middle of exams, or covering part of her rent when her hours at work fell through.

“I wasn’t used to that, but it really showed how she saw my priorities as her own. I’ve never really had anywhere else to go. She would do anything she could help me to live independently.”

Next, Kayla transferred to the University of Vermont and got an undergraduate degree in social work. Today, she works for one of the family courts, often witnessing cases that are so similar to her own.

Her dream, if she can find a way to pay for it? To go back to school for public policy, focusing on child welfare. “I can’t see myself doing anything else.”

She also tries to give back to the organizations that helped her. “It’s hard to explain how that extra help pushed me through whatever I was going through. It’s helped me be successful with my goals.”

“You guys were with me for a very long time.”

This article first appeared in the Spring 2017 edition of the Spectrum Sun, a print newsletter. Read the full newsletter here.

The post Finding Home appeared first on Spectrum Youth & Family Services.

Josh used to be in our JOBS program. He spoke at our recent Reception of Gratitude about his life and experiences, and why your support helped him stay on track to follow his dreams. Here is Josh’s story:

I was about 15 years old when I moved out of my parents’ house. And it took me until I was about 17, in high school, to really actually realize that.

At which point, they had to talk to DCF, and somebody knew Paul Hayes, who was a clinician at the JOBS program, and Paul really helped me do things like find a job and develop life skills so I was able to get an apartment and not become homeless, because I was couch-surfing before that.

I come from a long line of poverty and drugs. My father is currently in prison—not [the prison where I work]—but in prison. My brothers are in prison. So I feel pretty lucky that I met that guy over there.

Since then, I was able to go to college. I got a degree in nursing. Have been pretty successful. I’m married. I have a child on the way and a nine-year-old [applause].

I’m not sure that I would have been able to do it without the JOBS program. I was motivated, I didn’t want to stay in that cycle, but I was hanging out with people who were doing drugs, who did become homeless, who are also now in prison.

But Paul really helped me stay motivated and gave me the resources that I didn’t know were out there, as well as some psychological support. I had some pretty severe anxiety, some post-traumatic stress; I had a lot of trouble for the first year I was in the JOBS program and the year before that.

But now, you know, I’m doing pretty well. Thanks to these guys, and I really can’t thank you enough, I can’t thank you enough, Gina, [JOBS Coordinator], thank you, and thank you guys. Without your support, this wouldn’t be possible. Whether you give $100, you give $1,000, you give time, you give energy, you know, I am thanks to you, so thank you, all of you.

Thank you, Josh, for sharing your story.

The post “I didn’t want to stay in that cycle.” appeared first on Spectrum Youth & Family Services.

In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we sat down with Colleen Nilsen, the director of Spectrum’s Domestic Violence Intervention and Prevention programs (VIPP), to ask her a few questions.

Beal St. George: First, could you describe Spectrum’s program for domestic violence intervention and prevention?

Colleen Nilsen: The program is called DV Solutions, or Domestic Violence Solutions. It is a 27-week-long, state-certified batterer’s intervention program for men who have been abusive and controlling to their female partners. So, the three questions that we ask men to think about and answer are:
a) Why do I do what I do?
b) What are the effects of what I do on my partner and family?
c) How can I do things differently?
And DV Solutions believes that men can choose to change their behavior.

BS: How do people end up in a DV Solutions program?

CN: The majority of our population, close to 97% of participants, is referred by the court. So men coming to us have been convicted of domestic violence-related crimes, and as part of their probation agreement conditions, it will be court-mandated to attend DV Solutions in the fourteen counties that we serve.

BS: What about the three percent who are not mandated to attend?

CN: Those participants may be referrals from the Department of Children and Families (DCF), or from other agencies, based on observations in the home, and sometimes people volunteer to participate.

BS: What is a common attitude or perception that participants in the group hold about coming to group?

CN: Unlike participants in counseling programs, these men aren’t seeking us out. But the point of having a group rather than individual counseling is that the participants learn a lot from each other and can support each other through the process. So we have to meet them where they’re at, walk them through the process, and nine times out of ten, by the end they’re glad they did it, they’ll say, “I wish I had this in high school,” and they learned something.

BS: So how does a DV Solutions instructor go about encouraging men to change this behavior?

CN: I think we all know when we’ve done something wrong, and as humans, we have a hard time being honest about things we’ve done. We all minimize, deny, and blame. It’s a common human reaction to guilt or shame. Our participants are no different. Once you understand that, it becomes easier to work with them. It’s a natural human reaction that we can all relate to. So our challenge is to get them past the minimizing, denying, and blaming. It’s such a shameful topic, so we make the effort to say, “We’re not judging you. We’re judging your behaviors clearly, and society judges your behaviors, but our job is to help you figure out why you did what you did and how you can do things differently.”

BS: Many people know Spectrum because it serves youth. Why is it important that Spectrum also offers DV Solutions classes?

CN: You know, the men in our groups all have children. The prevention part of this work for me is trying to teach men how to have healthy, safe family relationships so that their children aren’t growing up in homes where violence exists and so that they’re not perpetuating the cycle, because violence is a learned behavior. Youth who seek out help from Spectrum are often escaping homes where violence exists. You can’t deal with children without dealing with families. That’s not a sustainable solution.

BS: So for you, what is the most rewarding part of this work?

CN: There are so many rewarding things. Our staff has been with us for an average of seven years. People always ask me why we stay when it’s such hard work. But what keeps me here is the social justice aspect. I really want to see women treated equally and women and children in safe, respectful homes.

One in five women are sexually assaulted; one in four are beaten in their homes or by their partners, and I want to change that statistic. Sometimes, in our classes, you plant the seeds, and you don’t see the results until later. Guys will come back and say, “After a while I realized that you weren’t out to get me, and I really appreciate what you had to say, and you were right.” They’re grateful, and that feels good, too, but I feel passionate about making the world a better place to live in, particularly for marginalized and at-risk populations. That’s what drives us and what gives us energy. If I don’t do it, who’s going to?

The post “We’re not judging you”: An Interview with Colleen Nilsen appeared first on Spectrum Youth & Family Services.

Mark and Ms. Piper, with a combined 53 years of experience in the field of child protection and youth services, offer broad recommendations to improve the system.

Their letter outlines the excessive burden placed on DCF workers who are “faced with making difficult decisions with limited time and resources.” Mark and Kate then note that response rates from the Vermont DCF are the second-lowest in the country.

“It is imperative that [the DCF] start investigating far more of the calls that citizens make when they suspect a child is being abused or neglected.”

Mark and Kate draw attention to dismal safe reunification rates. Vermont has the sixth-worst record in the nation for the percent of children who re-entered foster care within 12 months of being reunified with their parents.

“The number of calls alleging abuse and neglect has [increased] 24 percent . . . So calls are going up, fewer children are being removed from homes, and the community supports aren’t there.”

They advocate for better investigations and training materials for ethics and risk assessment of these children’s lives, as well as for increased support for relatives of abused and neglected children:

“If we are going to ask relatives to step up and help with abused and neglected children, we have to provide them with much better support.”

Mark and Kate also address the dual-track Differential Response system in Vermont–the intention is that fewer children be removed from their homes, because more community support can be made available. However, they say, that’s not how it plays out.”The number of calls alleging abuse and neglect has [increased] 24 percent . . . So calls are going up, fewer children are being removed from homes, and the community supports aren’t there.”

Read the full editorial here.

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