This article was written by a young person who accesses Spectrum’s services, including our Drop-In Center and supportive housing.

In one of my 8th grade classrooms there was a map of the world with everything upside down. At least, that’s what we’ve been trained to think: north is up and south is down. In thinking about how I wanted to go about writing my first article for Spectrum, I thought about the one thing I’ve really learned in the past year and, in doing so, this map came to mind.

August 25th was exactly one year since the first time I walked into The Landing, the emergency shelter above the Drop-In Center. To say I was terrified would be a pretty significant understatement. I really didn’t have any words for anything. One person asked what my name was and I ran away in tears.

From what I could tell at the time, I was on my own. I didn’t know what was next and I really wasn’t okay with that. I made several attempts to take control over my future, many of which did not go as planned.

I signed up for classes at CCV but then dropped out, got (and then lost) a number of employment opportunities, and went from being high on life to the depths of despair in the blink of an eye.

I was pretty sure I was a failure at life so I did what I had to do to make it through each day. Correction: I did what I thought I had to do. I thought I always had to be okay. I thought I always had to smile and laugh and be happy when that really wasn’t true.

To be in the housing program at Spectrum, you are required to be working on something. Whether it be employment and building your savings, school, or yourself. I chose to work on myself so I went to a 3 week respite and, upon my return to Burlington, was in therapy twice a week for a few months.

During that time, it felt like I cried every day. I also laughed every day. Most importantly, though, I felt more and more real as time went on. Spectrum has given me the tools and space that I was lacking in order to become messy and fall apart. A place where I was accepted regardless of how messy or crumbly I was.

In just 365 days, I have made a complete 180 from where I was then. Don’t get me wrong, I am still very messy and very crumbly but now I have a vacuum to help me clean up when I need it. Which brings me back to the map I mentioned at the beginning.

Why are we, as a society, so set on a specific path to take in life? It seems so many individuals at Spectrum get thrown off by the fact that they’re not doing what they’re “supposed” to do (graduate high school, go to college, get a job, etc.) and yet nowadays the norm is to do what feels right to you.

So, if there’s one thing Spectrum demonstrates spectacularly it’s that north isn’t necessarily up.

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Emma Michalowski has been working as an intern in our supported housing programs since August 2016. She’s a senior at Champlain College working toward her BS in psychology with a minor in global studies. She’s interested in both mental health counseling and global mental health.

Emma researched and created an ongoing life-skills training program for youth in our emergency shelter, The Landing, and our transitional housing. Here are her reflections:

As part of my senior capstone project, I developed a life skills training program for the youth in Spectrum’s supported housing.

The Game of Life helped youth practice their money management skills. Individuals were given a set income from which they created a monthly budget that included everything they needed or wanted. These costs included housing and utilities, Internet access, insurance and transportation, and clothing, as well as non-necessity items such as a new television, a pet, and any entertainment costs.

Each youth had to spin the Wheel of Fortune/Doom to see what surprise financial event they had to incorporate in their planning. The results were either beneficial, like a birthday present, which added $10/month, or detrimental, such as having one’s hours cut, which subtracted $250/month. Some of these events could’ve been avoided by purchasing various insurance policies, just like in real life!

After the completing their budget sheet, each youth sat with a credit counselor to discuss how their budgeting went. For individuals who went over budget, they discussed the difference between what they need and what they want, and what motivated them to make their decisions. Then, they returned to the game and adjusted their budgets. Once a participant completed their monthly worksheet without going over budget, they discussed options for utilizing their remaining money to achieve their financial goals.

Many youth reflected that it helped them to think about their money in a different way. One young woman said she didn’t realize how hard it was to live independently and that the Game of Life really opened her eyes to what this entailed. Another participant said he realized his lifestyle would be really affordable if only he didn’t buy fast food and video games as often. These anecdotes are just a few of the success stories from the Game of Life. It was a fun, interactive event that gave youth at Spectrum new ideas about using their money wisely.

Another part of the program was a cooking segment, which I created to teach not only cooking skills and safety, but also for youth to practice creativity and working in teams using cooperation and effective communication.

It was also designed to show the youth they can cook healthy, fresh meals for a lower cost than buying pre-prepared food. The event was set up somewhat like the television show, “Chopped,” in that the participants were given two required ingredients, chicken and a vegetable, as well as a ‘pantry’ of items that contained various food ingredients like pasta, rice, onions, and garlic.

Youth said they had fun during the event and most of them stated they learned something new, especially in The Landing. At one house, youth learned about eating kosher from one of the other residents, and at another house, youth made four different meals so that everyone’s food restrictions (vegetarian, gluten intolerance, and a low-cholesterol diet) were addressed, so all youth could eat together.

Thank you, Emma, for working with our youth over the past year! Congratulations on your upcoming graduation.

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Stephanie Ball is a Jump on Board for Success (JOBS) Clinician who helps youth who have multiple barriers to success in an intensive case management program. She works with young people on finding and keeping stable, competitive, fulfilling employment and on working to overcome barriers to successful adulthood. The JOBS program is a collaboration between Spectrum, HowardCenter, and VocRehab Vermont.

Here’s Stephanie’s moving speech about her work from a recent event.

A couple weeks ago, I had the pleasure going to 3 different high school graduations and watching a number of Spectrum’s young people walk across the stage. For some, this was a moment they never thought they would see.

Can you imagine the perseverance it takes to be homeless but still go to school? To be worried about feeding yourself while keeping your grades up? At one of these graduations, one of the speakers took his glasses out of his coat pocket, looked at the graduates and said “getting old is not for sissies.” And he is right: getting older isn’t for the faint of heart. Neither is growing up, especially when you’re expected to do all that growing up without the supports that many of us take for granted.

As I helped one of my clients write a Father’s Day card for her foster parent recently, I was reminded that it is often adults that are not related to our young people that reawaken their sense of connection and worthiness. People such as our Drop-In staff, residential staff, counselors, mentors, Youth Development Coordinators and of course JOBS Clinicians.

Once a young person comes to Spectrum’s doors, they become a part of a community. I know that at JOBS, if one of my young people is sleeping in a tent by the lake, I can connect with Residential to find them a safe place to begin to get their basic needs met and then focus on all of the other stuff that makes for a happy life.

Before starting at JOBS nearly a year ago, I worked at the shelter where I was able to form relationships with many of the youth I still work with today at JOBS.  One night, while working at shelter, I was on the phone with a staff at one of the other residences and she told me something I’ll never forget. We had helped one of our former shelter youth who then moved on to one of our supported housing programs get a copy of his birth certificate. She handed him his mail and as he opened it, he responded matter-of-factly, “So that’s my mom’s name.” I can’t even begin to fathom how much pain that one sentence contains. That young person in particular came to shelter with very little love for himself or anyone else. He would proclaim that cigarettes were all he really cared about.  I can remember after he moved to the supported housing programs, and after months of all of us working to help him see his potential, I called the residence and asked to speak to him. I was congratulating him for finishing a training program and you could just hear the hope in his voice, the confidence that he’d be able to find a job and save up to be on his own. It was touching.

Then, something happened before he got off the phone; he said, “Love you.” What I heard, though, was that he had begun to love himself. He had begun to understand that there were a community of people at Spectrum who genuinely cared about him.

It does take a village to raise a child, and for many of our youth Spectrum becomes that village, their community. I want to stress that it wasn’t only residential staff that played a part in this young person’s life. Although it could just be one more caring adult that makes the difference in any young person’s life, it’s often a number of people that provide support.  This young person, specifically, has been employed for nearly a year at the same place and will be transitioning successfully from one of the supported housing programs.

These changes took time though. The work that Spectrum does with young people in this community is hard and often messy. No one can magically undo 18 or more years of what these young people have had to experience. For many this means abuse, trauma, loss, and years of hardship.

Our work is about being there when things are hard to help them push through as well as being there to celebrate their successes. To be there for the life-changing moments, we have to be there when they’re not ready to change, to show them that change is possible and to wait for that moment of opportunity.

One of my mentors in this field once told me that youth are like jars, that you can tell them the same thing over and over and feel like you’re not getting anywhere, but that one day it will click and every attempt to get through to them will be worth it.  It’s often in the smallest of moments or smallest of gestures that you really make the biggest impact on these young people’s lives. It’s in the tissues, the laughs, the high fives and the hugs. What it really comes down to is the relationship. When working with our youth, it’s important to keep in mind that although we’d all love to see each of them miraculously overcome their ever-present obstacles, sometimes we’re not able to see the miracles until we look back and see how far they’ve come.

I can tell you from experience these young people are capable of truly incredible things. I’m extremely grateful for your donations and the part you play in our young people’s lives. You provide us with the opportunity to witness the incredible changes that can come about when you make a young person realize they are lovable and they are worth fighting for.

As I said, it takes a village and you are a part of the community that allows our young people to realize their potential and make meaningful changes in their lives. Truly, thank you.

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