This piece was written by a young person who accesses Spectrum’s services, thanks to people like you, who keep our doors open. It is part of a series of Spectrum Youth Voices.

Dear reader,

I am nearing 21 and under the impression that society would prefer it if I had my act together, and I was nice to you and smiled when you said “hello,” even though I don’t have my act together, I don’t feel smiley, and I don’t want to say “I’m fine” when you ask me how I’m doing.

What I want to say is “horrible.” I am doing horrible because everybody is supposed to be happy around the holidays but all I feel is empty.

I grew up with a comfortable home life but, due to events I won’t go into detail about, that life was taken from me almost 3 years ago. I was thrown into a world that didn’t make sense and I had to make decisions I wasn’t qualified to make.

I had to go with my gut, and it didn’t always lead me in the best direction. So I also spent some time backtracking, so to speak.  I’m not telling you all this so you pity me; I’m telling you this so you understand me.

I’m not the only individual accessing Spectrum who has undergone significant—even traumatic—loss. I’m not the only one feeling empty or struggling with the enormous isolation brought on by all these complicated feelings.

So, reader, this is where you come in. I can’t speak for everyone, but to me, the holidays are just a big, national reminder of what’s missing and what I can’t get back.  The holidays have so much emphasis on material goods but I would give anything to have back the life I lost.

So over the next month or so, take time to hug someone a little tighter, and listen a little longer, because these are the memories that count. These are the memories that will never lose value and can never be replaced.

The post An open letter to those who don’t know how to help. appeared first on Spectrum Youth & Family Services.

This article was written by a young person who accesses Spectrum’s services.

At the end of October, I lost a friend who was very near and dear to my heart, to almost 10 years of battling cancer. The loss is still very new, and very raw, and likely will be for many weeks if not months to come; however, it has allowed me to write this with a new perspective and determination to write from the very bottom of my heart.

As I’ve been working through my own grief process, this writing has also undergone significant changes. Through the many edits, complete re-writes and even different viewpoints being expressed, I have kept certain parts, discarded (many) others, and completely started over on more than one occasion. Although you can’t really discard or completely start over with life after loss, you can keep parts of that individual and your perspective of the world will change. As I reflected on my life and current thought process I discovered several parallels between writing and grieving.

The five stages of grief look different for everyone, as does the writing process. Some people plan out what they’re going to write and others just do it. I’m more of the wait-until-the-last-minute writer. Similarly, grief looks different on everyone.

As I said, I’m more of a just-do-it type of writer, which means I definitely wait until the last minute. It’s not that I don’t want to be writing and advocating for my peers, it’s just constantly feeling like I have more important things to do in life. Grieving isn’t much different.

I know my feelings will always be there, and this particular line of thinking leads me down two distinct paths: (1) my feelings will always be here so I should really just deal with them now and get them out of the way; or (2) my feelings will always be here so I should focus on the more impermanent things (such as school) and deal with the feelings later.

I look at these two perspectives as denial and bargaining rolled into one and they don’t get you anywhere. It really doesn’t matter how you think or what you think because the feelings are still felt. Similarly, the writing still has to get written, the only difference is how you write and what you write about.

Acceptance came when I decided I wasn’t going to write about what was easy, I was going to write about what I know.

Depression is the beginning of acceptance. In the writing process, that may look like walking away from the piece entirely. In life, it can look like isolation or engaging in risky and harmful behaviors. Many of the individuals at Spectrum, myself included, have used or currently use these coping mechanisms to try and understand why life works the way it does.

They make us feel something other than the true pain of what’s beneath the behaviors; just as watching Netflix can help you ignore the panic of writing about something no body really enjoys hearing, which is a point I’ll elaborate on a bit later; there is nothing you can do.

The final stage of just about anything you will ever do in life is acceptance. In this particular writing, acceptance came when I decided I wasn’t going to write about what was easy, I was going to write about what I know. What I know is that grief sucks, and it’s hard. I know that “I’m sorry” and “I’m here for you” doesn’t help a whole lot. I know that words aren’t helpful as the loss is still lost and the feelings are still felt.

I know that it’s okay to feel. In fact, it’s a good thing, because feelings are meant to come and go. They’re what make us, as humans, different from one another. Intense emotions and being messy are not signs of weakness and do not make you any less of an individual.

This has been a hard piece to write as it’s typically not what people like to hear in terms of supporting those close to them through a tough time, but I’ve taken that to mean this is a subject matter of great importance. I know I am just one person, and one perspective, but I hope I have shed some light on the experience and process of losing a loved one.

The post The Five Stages of Writing, Grief, and Writing about Grief appeared first on Spectrum Youth & Family Services.

From left, Riverstone counseling staff: Sunnie Lobdell, Kristen Vogel, Leslie Ferrer, and Will Kraman.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Spectrum Expands to Include New Riverstone Youth Counseling Program
Nationally Recognized Leader in Youth and Adult Services Launches New Service

BURLINGTON, VT (August 25th, 2017) – Spectrum Youth & Family Services, a nationally recognized nonprofit providing youth and adult services to the Burlington area, today announces the addition of a new counseling program: Riverstone Counseling. This new branch of Spectrum specializes in working with teenagers, young adults, and their families, to help youth identify and work with their strengths to help achieve their goals.

Since 1970, Spectrum has been an integral part of the Burlington community by supporting thousands of children and families faced with homelessness, mental health issues, violence, substance abuse and countless other critical issues.

Through services like mentoring, skills programs, supportive housing, multicultural youth programs, a health center, and more, Spectrum has helped to make sustainable, positive changes within the community.

The addition of Riverstone adds a youth-focused counseling program to Spectrum’s wide range of services.

Open to the public, Riverstone counselors are trained clinical mental health/social workers and substance abuse counselors who focus on a client-centered approach to help teenagers and young adults work through and overcome mental health and substance use issues.

Riverstone counselors specialize in helping clients with mental health and substance use issues using cognitive behavioral therapy, EMDR for trauma, narrative therapy and other proven treatments.

“The goal of Riverstone Counseling is to be a mental health resource for our entire Chittenden County community, not just clients being served in other Spectrum programs,” said Sarah Woodard, Director of Development and Communications at Spectrum. “The addition of Riverstone adds another level of specialization and focus to Spectrum’s current services and allows us to provide personalized one-on-one counseling support to youth in our community who could benefit from counseling. The team at Riverstone is skilled in working with youth and young adults in crisis, trauma, or those who just would benefit from a therapeutic relationship.”

For more information about Riverstone Counseling, please visit: www.riverstonecounseling.org.

To make an appointment, email hello@riverstonecounseling.org, or call (802) 864-7423 x310.

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Check it out:

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Resource Coordinator Liz and Peer Outreach Worker Lizz, from left.

Last week, we said goodbye to Liz and Lizz, two amazing staff members at our Drop-In Center. You two have had such a tremendous positive impact on our youth and our staff. We will miss you so much. Thank you for all you do, and good luck!

Here are a few photos of your amazing work here over the years:

Liz and Lizz, left and third from left, with Rep. Peter Welch in December 2016.

Lizz is ready for Halloween!

Getting silly at Pizza Friday!

Lizz and Liz, center, with the Drop-In staff in March 2017

The post We’ll miss you, Liz and Lizz! appeared first on Spectrum Youth & Family Services.

“I had a bit of a rougher childhood than most. My mom was a drug addict and an alcoholic. It wasn’t uncommon for me to wake up in the house, all alone.”

Charles was without a home at the age of 18, but he’s not letting that define him. Thanks to generous people like you supporting Spectrum programs, Charles and other young people are building their resilience.

You can meet a group of young adults in our community facing homelessness, addiction, and struggles with mental health, and hear their stories of resilience in this video from Parent Co., made by Brendan Bubion.

Thanks, Parent Co., for sharing this story!

The post Resilient: A Parent Co. Story appeared first on Spectrum Youth & Family Services.

Recently, Jack Thurston of NECN visited Detail Works, our new social enterprise. Detail Works is a deluxe car detailing shop that gives job skills and life skills to our youth and empowers them to practice having a job in a supportive environment.

Jack spoke with Charles, one young person who was homeless before he came to live in our supportive housing. Without Spectrum, Charles said, “I don’t think I’d be anywhere at this point.”

It’s thanks to the generous support of community members like you that Charles and other young people find supportive employment at Detail Works.

The post Cleaning Cars, Transforming Lives appeared first on Spectrum Youth & Family Services.

What follows is a guest blog post written by CeCe Horbat, the Diversity, Equity, & Multiculturalism Coordinator at Spectrum.

On May 6th, 2017, we hosted the Youth Leadership Conference at Champlain College. Created by our Multicultural Youth Program, the conference is designed for youth to have fun and learn, while also providing the support they need to build successful leadership skills.

To make it happen, we collaborated with many amazing community partners, including Northwest Counseling Support Services; Vermont Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health; Burlington Parks, Recreation, and Waterfront; Burlington Community and Economic Development Office; and Champlain College.

Our Youth Advisory Committee designed the whole conference, choosing everything from the t-shirt design to the workshops, from our amazing keynote speaker, Rebecca Eun Mi Haslam (Vermont’s Teacher of the Year), to our Snapchat geotag for the day! In order for the event to be a success, it had to be by youth and for youth.

Catherine, left, of the Burlington Parks, Recreation, and Waterfront; and Rebecca Eun Mi Haslam

Almost 100 youth, ages 14-24, participated in the day, learning about themselves and each other. Haslam kicked off the day by sending us the important message: “Know your why, and remember that you are the only one in control of where you’re headed.”

Some of the day’s most popular workshops were led by youth: “LGBTQ Intersectionality,” “Conversations about Racism,” “Breaking Down Cultural Barriers,” and “Spoken Book.” And many other community partners, like the Fletcher Free Library, The Peace and Justice Center, Opportunities Credit Union, and Parents and Youth for Change led fun, engaging workshops.

After lunch, youth explored over 30 organizations, service providers and post-secondary opportunities in a resource fair. Special thanks to ACLU, Vermont Tech, Vermont Works for Women, “I am Vermont, Too,” and Vermont Adult Learning, just to name a few.

In order for the event to be a success, it had to be by youth and for youth.

We finished the jam-packed day by reading a Letter of Support from Senator Bernie Sanders (though he wasn’t able to make it!) and holding a raffle drawing for prizes to local businesses. To our amazing community raffle prize partners like Old Spokes Home, City Market, YMCA, Burlington Electric, the staff at TJMaxx and many, many more, we thank you for your amazing support.

The conference was successful and empowering because of the support of people like you. We’re looking forward to an even bigger and better conference in 2018. In the meantime, you can find us on Facebook to see photos and stay up-to-date on how you are helping. Huge thanks to all who believe in our youth!

CeCe Horbat, left, and Emmajane Hoffman, of the Multicultural Youth Program.

CeCe Horbat is the Diversity, Equity and Multiculturalism Coordinator at Spectrum, as well as the AmeriCorps member serving in our Multicultural Youth Program.

The post Know Your “Why”: Youth Build Leadership Skills at Spring Conference appeared first on Spectrum Youth & Family Services.

With your help, Kayla—once without a home of her own—builds her future.

When she was 8, Kayla went to the police and asked them to put her in foster care.

Her mom had made a habit of leaving her alone for days at a time, with no food and no one to look after her. And when she was home, she regularly beat little Kayla.

“It was almost like a hobby for her,” says Kayla. “I was so scared in that house alone, and when she came home, she was super abusive. It was just awful.”

And, her father was in and out of prison. “My dad is the most kindhearted man in the world. He’s got such a good soul. But he has been an alcoholic since he was a kid.”

She thought that putting herself in state custody would give her parents a wake-up call. “They wouldn’t want me to be in a foster home, so what else would they do besides get it together? You know, stop drinking, stop using drugs, stop leaving me. I just thought it would get better.”

Instead, Kayla bounced from home to home to home—at one, the parents treated her so badly that Kayla’s case manager intervened and they lost their license. Once a star student, she fell behind after switching schools again and again.

Finally, when Kayla was in 8th grade, a room opened up in her aunt’s house, and she became a certified foster parent to take Kayla in—the mother that Kayla had never had. “If I didn’t move in with her, I don’t know what I’d be doing right now. It’s a really scary thought.”

Support to build on, thanks to you.

In high school, Kayla’s case manager referred her to Amanda at our Youth Development Program, which helps youth aging out of state custody transition to adulthood. “I remember the initial meeting, when she told me all the things she could help me with.”

“That was the first time anybody had talked to me about college.”

“I thought, ‘This is my opportunity to branch out and even lead myself.’ My whole time in care had proven that I couldn’t rely on my parents to bounce back and give me a solid life or at least a fair chance at being successful.”

Thanks to your support, Kayla began to plan for college. But in her senior year, her boyfriend of three years suddenly died. In her grief, her grades slipped, she struggled to stay in school, and college seemed like a far-off dream.

She wasn’t sure what to do until Amanda suggested our independent living program, which helps foster kids learn to live on their own. We do many of the things a parent might—like coaching, and helping to pay for books, a computer, or rent.

With your support, a home of her own.

Kayla moved out of her aunt’s house and slowly began to build a life—a home—for herself. She got a job, and eventually started taking classes at Community College of Vermont. Thanks to you, Amanda was always by her side, helping her when her laptop failed in the middle of exams, or covering part of her rent when her hours at work fell through.

“I wasn’t used to that, but it really showed how she saw my priorities as her own. I’ve never really had anywhere else to go. She would do anything she could help me to live independently.”

Next, Kayla transferred to the University of Vermont and got an undergraduate degree in social work. Today, she works for one of the family courts, often witnessing cases that are so similar to her own.

Her dream, if she can find a way to pay for it? To go back to school for public policy, focusing on child welfare. “I can’t see myself doing anything else.”

She also tries to give back to the organizations that helped her. “It’s hard to explain how that extra help pushed me through whatever I was going through. It’s helped me be successful with my goals.”

“You guys were with me for a very long time.”

This article first appeared in the Spring 2017 edition of the Spectrum Sun, a print newsletter. Read the full newsletter here.

The post Finding Home appeared first on Spectrum Youth & Family Services.

The City of Burlington team sleeps out in 2016. Clockwise from top right: John St. Amour, Neale Lunderville, Mike Kanarick, and Val DeBrita.

John St. Amour, who’s sleeping out for his second year with the City of Burlington, shared his story about why he’s sleeping out, and we wanted to share it with you. On March 23rd, community and business leaders are sleeping out for one night in solidarity with youth who are homeless in the Spectrum Sleep Out. That same weekend, hundreds of students will do the same.

I chose to participate in my first Sleep Out in 2016. I have a family member who had used Spectrum’s services, and while they chose to not be successful, I wanted to give back for the kids in our community that really could benefit.

I had no idea what to expect, since I had never “camped” in winter before. I went home and shared my involvement with my wife and my children (4 & 6) at the time. My kids did not understand why Daddy was going to sleep outside on the ground, instead of a warm bed.

I explained to them that many people locally do not have the comforts we do, and it was time to give back. I also said that if something ever happens, and one of them needs support, I want to make sure Spectrum exists and can be there for them.

I am participating again this year for this simple reason: the kids on the street need our support and they need our voices. I will survive the night out, I will go to work Friday, then go back home to my loving family, and a warm house and bed. Someday, I hope my efforts—OUR efforts—can make the reality that we live in the same for others who are less fortunate.

Believe me when I tell you this: the Sleep Out is so much more than sleeping outside in a sleeping bag on some cardboard with a canopy overhead. Come join our efforts and learn how you can make a difference!

Register for the Sleep Out by February 28th and you’re entered to win an iPad Air 2 from Small Dog Electronics!

Mike, Val, John, and Neale at the 2016 Sleep Out, ready to head outside for the night.

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